Domter Co. Read Homestuck
Sanguine for Dave Strider
"He is obsessed with being cool, which manifests itself in his unceasing pursuit of new ironic depths. Dave is introduced to readers as a "really cool dude", which is shown throughout the early acts of the story. He jeers at John's inability to set up his Fetch Modus when John asks him for help and berates John's interests constantly. But despite the indifferent front he puts up, Dave cares about his friends. Dave, despite all of his joking around seems to always take things generally seriously if needed, which also leads him to surpress any other emotion so they don't get in his way."
Dave should have a fairly neutral american accent, perhaps with a lower voice. The only direction for his voice is to sound as full of yourself as possible.
[You're on a roll, making fun of a jerk.]
bro look in my eyes
that twinkle
that be DEVOTION you herniated pro wrestlers sweaty purple taint
sparklin like a visit from your fairy fuckin godmother
shit be PURE AND TRUE
thats what you see
a kaleidoscopic supernova of all your hopes and dreams all swishin together
radially effevescing arms of more little boy peckers than you can imagine
turning out insane corkscrew haymakers of a billion dancing vienna sausages strong
this is how we do this
this shits more real than kraft mayo[A rap]
alright
weird but alright
you sound wound up
but my gears are airtight
steer clear a the seer and the knight if youre scared of unfair fights
youll drop like the staircase impaired, seein em spareds a fair fuckin rare sight
for poor eyes like that millionaire whos pockets i mocked earlier
hes paradoxically me but richer and surlier
broke as his sword before his stock picks skyrocketed
worth more than all the chests lockpicked and gold croc bricks and boonbucks i pickpocketed
fillin folios with millions im milkin to pad out my pockets
more chock full than sad trollian villains cloggin my blocklist
so thoughtful to popul-
-ate my slate with propositions to copulate to a spate of hemoerotic hotpix
which i posit you got shit of that nature in spades
as my shades got you locked in
spyin a guy whos eyed more cocks and dicks than i got clocks and they got ticks
