I *think* Gallus' pitch is a little lower, and your delivery does not quite fit his personality in the first line. Gallus is a character who tries to play it cool, carry himself with confidence, and often asserts himself among the group of friends in the Student Six. If I could make one suggestion to if you tried to do it again, I would say be more firm. Your reading of the second line is the best of the three (followed by third line, then first). I think your voice comes pretty close, and it is a good audition. My current favorite for the role is ChemosynL, which is also a recent audition, if you want to compare. I think that one does show more of that confidence, that firmness, and is more accurate to the show. You do not have to do a retake, but you are welcome to try it. If you do, I would also ask that you try to be quieter on that third line. It should be a hissed whisper. He is saying it for Ocellus to hear him but not outright call attention to Rainbow Dash hearing him either. Your audio has little clicks that are likely saliva clicks, a problem I'm dealing with right now in the narration myself. Suggestions I've heard or read for dealing with those is to stay hydrated, try to prevent them before having to edit them, and use a barrier between yourself and the microphone, such as a pop filter. I hope all this information helps you in some way.