Still here, Laertes! Aboard, aboard, for shame! The wind is fair and they’re waiting for you… There, my blessing on you! And here are a few words of advice, make sure that you keep them in mind. Don’t ever say what you think, and don’t do everything you feel like doing. Be friendly to people, but on no account vulgar. When you’ve tested the loyalty of the friends you already have, bring them to you with hoops of steel, but don’t lower yourself by embracing every untried new companion. Be careful of getting into fights, but if you do, make sure that your opponent will think twice before tangling with you again. Listen to everyone but give advice to only a few: accept criticism from all but reserve your judgement. Buy the clothes that you can afford, although not just everything you like – expensive, yes, but not gaudy because the clothes usually show what the man is – the top Frenchmen are good models for that. Never borrow or lend because lending often loses both the money and the friend and borrowing makes you too extravagant. But most of all, be true to yourself and then it must follow, as night follows the day, that you can’t be false to any man. So farewell and take my blessing.

(Shocked/Sneering) Affection! Rubbish! You speak like an immature girl, unaware of the dangers of that. Do you believe his expressions, as you call them?

Well here’s my drift and, I think, it’s quite clever. You lay these little foibles on my son as though they were minor faults. See now. This fellow you’re talking to, the one you’re sounding out: if he’s ever seen the youth you’re discussing doing any of those things, you can be sure he’ll confide in you with something like this. “Good sir,” or something, or “friend” or “gentleman,” according to the manner of speaking of his nationality.’