Later Alligator Dub!
Anthony LoGatto for Tall Jared
A Big and Tall Boy. Deep voice, he's a little dorky. He's on his phone a ton, but it's broken, and he needs you to fix it.
Oh hey. Didn't see you down there. Can you move about two centimeters to the right? The placement of my eyes is particularly wacky.
Ugh, this isn't going to work, I stored the number I need here. In my broken phone... How did anyone even get by before modern cell phone technology? How did they send each other messages, or watch videos about people drinking a gallon of milk and then throwing up? I guess I'll just have to write letters now, and film myself barfing on VHS. Just like the pilgrims would have.
Folks call me Tall Jared. I don't really get it though. Honestly, I'm not even the tallest Jared that I personally know. Yeah, let that info sink in for a while. I can see your imagination running wild in your extremely visible eyes.