The Breakfast Club Alternate Version (9M/8F)
jazzhandss for Brian Johnson
Bio: A young nerdy boy who is very smart but is somewhat shy and reserved. He comes from a long line of Geniuses (as his overbearing Mother would frequently remind him) and was raised to be one of the smartest kids in his class. Brian is easily the nicest amongst the 5 students in Detention (and is actually able to get along with all 4 of his classmates). While Brian is a rather nice boy but he is also quite nervous and is fairly easy to intimidate (and occasionally fluster). But while Brian was initially too nervous to actually speak up for himself at first over the course of the story he is more willing to try to be a voice of reason as well.
1. (Opening Narration) It was Saturday March 24 at Shermer High School in Shermer Illinois. Dear Mr. Vernon, we understand that we all had to sacrifice a Saturday in detention for doing something wrong. Now dont get me wrong sir we all did something wrong. But you made us all write essays over who do you think we are. But in all honesty sir we all think youre crazy I mean lets be honest sir would you even care? You seem to always think of us in the simplest terms and easiest definitions such as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. But to be fair at 7 o clock that Saturday morning one way or another we all saw each-other like that. We were brainwashed.
2. (Calm and Reassuring) Well Mr. Bender, this school has all sorts of clubs that you might be able to join in sometime in the future. I mean depending on what you like and what are your skills Im sure you can find a club that could suit you.3. (Calm but being a bit of a show-off.) Actually Mr. Bender, the Shinobi are well known for being seemingly normal household cleaners and workers. I mean sure when we think of Ninja we think of assassins dressed all in black. But in real life Ninja would normally dress like common household workers and get their information while they do their daily chores.
4. (Introducing himself in Japanese) E to... * Ehen* ... Watashi wa Buraian Jonsondesu. Watashi wa nihongo o hanasu koto ga dekimasushi, watashi mo hoka no samazamana gengo o hanasu koto ga dekimasu. (Uh... *ahem*... I am Brian Johnson. I can speak Japanese and I can speak various other languages too.)5. (Scared) Yeah wimpy nerdy guys like me get attacked all the time in school. Ive had friends and classmates get attacked at school, some of them have even been in the Emergency Room. Why one of my friends got attacked while during Gym class the other day.
6. (Upset, trying not to cry) You know Claire, I I just cant figure this out I mean we have been getting along rather well today I I thought that maybe you you liked me But that sounds stupid huh? I mean a popular pretty girl liking a skinny nerdy boy like me? I must sound so incredibly stupid to you huh? But hey if this is what you want
Sorry it took me this long to comment anyways... + Your voice is alright and your delivery was for the most part pretty good, I especially liked your takes on the last two lines. Though your takes on Lines 2 and 3 were rather good as well. - First of all your take on Japanese was way off, I understand how difficult it can be but still my audition clip does provide a bit of a better idea of how to pronounce those words. But still also your take on Line 1 while not really bad was a bit off as you were sounding like you were struggling for a bit to go through the whole line at times. But still this is a rather good aud nevertheless.
Thanks so much for the feedback, that means the world to me. Any info to help me along is appreciated and I'm glad you liked what you liked. I know the Japanese part was not the best at all, but I really wanted to try out for this part and would work on the Japanese a bit later. If you would like a retake with more feeling in some spots or to retry lines, just let me know and I'll be more then happy to try.