Rosicrucians (ROSE-EH-CREW-SHEANS)? Come now, man. I have told the masons, the Order of St. Hubertus, the Odd Fellowship, the Illumanti, the Sons of America and all of you other secret societies that I am not a man of religious fervor, nor am I one to trifle with rituals, pomp and circumstance.

Look, I know my home is a dazzling display, but I’m afraid you have the wrong Vanderbilt. You should speak with my brother, Cornelius. He’s right over there with lovely wife Alice. He enjoys all of these types of things, Salvation Army, St. Nicholas Society and all that. He’s got a much deeper purse than I for folly such as yours.

(shouting)

Everyone. Yes. Thank you. It’s time to retire to the banquet hall for dinner and continued conversation. And perhaps...an exchange of gifts? Haha. Yes. That would be quite splendid. Come along.