before her first kiss, she realized the things we are lacking are what grow to define us

what we want is what we mold ourselves after 

which is why you take after her so much you've gained so many of her interests

 that she used to have you grieve and think that she's missing from your life

 so you have to fill that in with something and you inhale it into yourself 

and it becomes part of you punk rock bands you never listened to before 

now are your favorite thing you see her face in your dreams 

and you know "why couldn't we say these things 

to each other while we were alive? why is it always when it's too late?" 

and as promised here is the love poem she wrote about you

it's nothing special

just words scribbled out on a page

scanned into a computer i'll send you the file tomorrow

Serenity stands by the train tracks

wondering about her future and the first thing that comes to her mind 

is the fact that she read an article in a psychology magazine 

that said people often have a random thought that comes into their head

 when they stand near a train and that thought tells them to jump onto the tracks

 and for a few seconds of misery she would then feel nothing afterwards, 

nothing at all because that thought came into her mind too 

and she didn't know where it came from or why she could not control her subconscious 

but this book is not about suicidal thoughts or death 

it's about love poems 

let's hear some poems written by her

the first thing she said was that thoughts 

and ideas are hard to express

 because there are only so many ways you can express 

the same idea in a different way because all she thinks about is the same thing every day