You have potential and it's on the right track, but I was distracted by the popping sounds on the "she's dead" line. I also feel like you could show more fear with the whimper at the beginning; it seems like it's more or less just panting. However you do kind of sound like you're on the verge of tears when thanking Sara, but I feel like you could do more. Also you're really holding back with the screaming, and screaming is vital to this. And I feel like the tone is a bit too low for her.
aaa, it was rlly late at night and i didnt wanna wake anyone, as i was meant to be asleep- ill try once my parents leave again ^^'