(happy) Hello, girls! (apologize) Sorry I’m late. Ever since Spike started talking, he’s been obsessed with stand-up comedy, and now all he wants to do is practice his act on me. What’s going on?

(timid) I’ve never been trick-or-treating. (unsure) I don’t know. Again, I like to relax on Nightmare Night. I’ve never found the idea of going door to door begging for candy very fun. And isn’t fun what Nightmare Night’s supposed to be all about?

(yip) Trick-or-treat! *gasp* (profusely apologize) Oh my, I didn’t mean to interrupt you, madam—ma’am! Ma’am, not madam! I’m sorry, so sorry, I never meant to imply you were the proprietor of a whorehouse, ma’am! (awkward) Or maybe miss? Linguists still debate over which term is most proper. In fact, just last week I read that the word ma’am is obsolete! I don’t want to be obsolete, or rude, madam—ma’am—miss.