I feel like you're really compressing your screaming and screaming is vital in this. The emotions are kinda there, but I feel like you're holding back. Also it feels like it's too young of a voice for Kanna. She's in middle school, but the pitch makes her sound more like she's 6 or so. Try maybe pulling back on the squeakiness and focusing more on giving it your all in terms of dynamics and emotion.
Thank you so much for the advice! I'll try it again real soon!