i want to hide and even disappear 

but not in the poetic way

i mean actually hide and even disappear

i don't think in a poetic way

would you rather be normal or weird? i'd rather be with you

when we lose control of ourselves and forget how to love 

it's going to be broken, a nightmare, twisted,

there is something inside of me, 

that is ready to be unleashed on the world

pure disbelief that this is the lief we've been given

my name is Serenity, 

the girl you will find silently walking through these hallways, the same expression on my face,

pure disbelief that this is the lief we've been given

we're just kids, why are our lives already broken? 

i want to sleep without fear of violence, the way it was when everything was handed to me

i write poems in every classroom and every hallway

do you believe in lief after death? i believe that death 

is what there always is and ever shall be world without end

today is the first day of eternity 

it is longer than you think, 

it goes on forever and ever 

and there is nothing after or before

in less than an hour i filled the pages of that notebook 

sometimes i feel lonely but it doesn’t bother me 

sometimes when i’m at work at retail stores

 i stare at the ceiling  and think and imagine my life in other countries

  but now i am lying alone in my room 

thinking about the world we created together  

when we were kids thinking about how much  

we have grown in the past year thinking about  

the revival that will encompass our own lives as the next year cascades into us 

i had an entire binder of movies  

and a shelf full of books  the same stories 

i would read over again contemplating the nature of re-created things 

and if there will be a re-creation in my own life or yours 

because there is so much doubt and so many things we don’t know about eternity

 the one thing i want to do is leave this town and go  

to a big city and see the skyscrapers and then contemplate

 the same questions  and see if my answers have changed 

but if my answers are not true 

if not even with all wisdom in the world can we find the nature of created things  

and the nature of passing things 

then how can we hope to know anything  about these things?

 and if we don’t know anything about these things we are skydiving

 out of a plane into an ocean of regret