Escape
EurasianRob for Len
The narrator of the story. He's highly introverted and isolated from the people around him. He comes from a dysfunctional family which has affected his adult life. Being 37, he hasn't hit many of the major milestones expected out of people his age. He isn't married, he doesn't have kids, and he doesn't live in a particularly nice place. However, to combat this he resorts to lying. These lies convince others and eventually himself. Not a particularly friendly guy.
The voice I'm looking for is a little bit on the deeper side. Len is hardcore gloom and doom and doesn't enjoy opening up to others. He has a bit of a crude imagination and shows much frustration to the world around him.
I bolted in as fast as I could, briskly brushing past everyone in my way and without saying a word. I was not about to have a conversation this morning. The dairy section was in the back and I sure as hell was going to make it there as quickly and silently as I could.
I think he attempted to say "sorry" but what came out was a gurgle. I’ve lived near this guy for 10 years now, and I have yet to understand what exactly he says; he speaks his own language.
Just as I was about to grab the gallon, a large oafish figure bashed into me. I buckled down to the floor and furiously looked up at my next victim. It was my beady-eyed neighbor Wallace. His hair buzzed off like he was in the military. Bright white t-shirt covered in barbecue stains. Most importantly he looked like a few hotdogs away from cardiac arrest.
Thank you for the audition and nicely done! Your reading was smooth and engaging. I didn't find it monotonous or dull. Some slight criticism: I think the emotion could be pushed a lot more. What you did was great in terms of being a neutral narrator, however, I envision Len to be feeling the thoughts as he says them; every bit of his disgruntled nature shows through in his voice. What you did would be perfect if I were looking for a narrator reading the character's thoughts. In this case, however, I'm looking for the character to narrate his thoughts. Overall, though, I feel that you're capable of the character so I'll put you under consideration. Good work!
Thank you for the critique! Appreciate the clarification for the character, I wasnt 100% sure myself how much emotion to show but thank you for pointing this out!