Texts From Final Fantasy XIII
Project Overview
http://textsfromffxiii.tumblr.com/
That glorious tumblr NEEDS audio to the posts made, therefore, auditions shall be held!
Everyone is drunk or high all of the time and it's like a glorious crack!AU based off of texts.
There will be one post done a week, maybe two depending.
There is NSFW content in this project, but it is mostly suggestive.
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Comes in on occasion.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on her character, but an attempt to sound like her original VA is best.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? I need some intense exercise/alcohol.
I was just refered to as the "margarita slut" by an 11 year old.
Comes in on occasion.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on his character, but an attempt to sound like his original VA is best.
Do you know any dealers?
Relax, honey. It's perfectly normal his age for boys to watch My Little Pony.
Please tell me you have lingerie in your closet because you have a girfriend, and not because you have taken up cross dressing.
Comes in on occasion.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on her character, but an attempt to sound like her original VA is best.
Hope, I found plants in your room. Since when have you been into gardening?
Your mom can still drink beer while standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow!
? Is t-bag slang for scrotum?
Comes in on occasion.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on his character, but an attempt to sound like his original VA is best.
NEW RULE: NO INAPPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN!
Litterally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms...
I thought we were going to McDonalds...?
Comes in on occasion.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on their character, but an attempt to sound like the original VA is best.
NO. FUCKING. TOILET PAPER.
I'm guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
When you close your eyes, do you see, that mystical creature, that will be me?
Sazh has this thing with birds. He also hangs out with Vanille somtimes.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on his character, but an attempt to sound like his original VA is best.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they were pretty".
Comes in on occasion.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on his character, but an attempt to sound like his original VA is best.
What's a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
No, I think I'm god.
Lightning loves Vodka. Nothing is as important as Vodka. Maybe yelling at snow... Did I mention Vodka?
Feel free to attempt your own spin on her character, but an attempt to sound like her original VA is best.
He tried to eat fireworks, to stop himself from being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people!?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Also, I may or may not be wearing a cape right now. Hint: I am.
He's either the best wingman or trying to bone your girl.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on his character, but an attempt to sound like his original VA is best.
Speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get more condoms.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend because you were too drunk. Youre welcome.
Giant lesbian. Boobs are things that happen sometimes. And booze is a thing that happens all of the time. Also girls.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on her character, but an attempt to sound like her original VA is best.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I want to do is hunt wild hogs.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Also, I am legit concerned that I might compulsivly start collecting vibrators like pokemon
Hope has two mods: Shota or oddly attractive nerd with his leech-like stalker not too far off. He typically has weird things happen with his mom. He also hangs out with Lightning (who is a terrible influence) more than he should.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on his character, but an attempt to sound like his original VA is best.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone.
Fuck. that. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret EVER putting me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Comes in on occasion.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on her character, but an attempt to sound like her original VA is best.
Technically we aren't related, so this wouldn't count as incest. Unless that works for you.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refridgerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes.
Intimate moments with Snow are weird. Cats are a thing. A constantly drunk sister is a thing... She keeps reminding herself she's not a slut.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on her character, but an attempt to sound like her original VA is best.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We need to talk about our relationship. I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes.
I think I'm going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities.
Comes in on occasion. Boobs. Just boobs.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on her character, but an attempt to sound like her original VA is best.
I must have had a great time last night... I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses.
When I feel sad, I remember that my tits are huge, and then I feel better.
I have big tits, rules don't apply to me.
Comes in on occasion.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on his character, but an attempt to sound like his original VA is best.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dumbass, I drove... You sat in the passenger seat and steered with a paper plate.
Comes in on occasion.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on his character, but an attempt to sound like his original VA is best.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that.
I know how to make vodka by the way in case you want to come over and do a science project.
Comes in on occasion.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on isr character, but an attempt to sound like his original VA is best.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms.
I woke up to find out I googled Twilight Eclipse trailer. So either drunk me doesn't know that I'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that I'm gay.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
She tends to get drunk to the point where she either can't move or passes out. She also picks on Noel and Caius.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on her character, but an attempt to sound like her original VA is best.
I am dead. Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexted me too hard.
Actually I think I might be dying right now, so if I am you have to drink all of my vodka.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window on YOUR watch. You failed me runk guardian. You failed.
She stalks Hope, who is also her boss and sometimes sleeps with him.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on her character, but an attempt to sound like her original VA is best.
I deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
How do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
He is a very serious evil man with no soul and vodka.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on his character, but an attempt to sound like his original VA is best. PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEAAAAASSEEE E.NUN.CI.ATE!!!
Are you dead or taking another 13 hour nap? You need to let me know these things ahead of time so I don't worry.
Currently working on a look that screams "dead inside but still trying to enjoy the ride".
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one of those.
Comes in on occasion.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on his character, but an attempt to sound like his original VA is best.
Via Twitter.
No I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Comes in on occasion.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on his character, but an attempt to sound like his original VA is best.
And the oscar for "most creative swear word" goes to you for "Bhuni's bloody fucksticks".
Clusterfuck is frowned upon in work related emails.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headded tonight?
Comes in on occasion.
Feel free to attempt your own spin on his character, but an attempt to sound like his original VA is best.
I pray to Etro this man get's laid tonight for Father's Day.
I'm planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So da bitch just started stripping and we all got ourselves drunk. PARTY HARD.
Snow really just wants to get laid and wasted all of the time. He has a relationship with Sarah sometimes. He gets into fights with Lightning a lot- typically over Sarah.Feel free to attempt your own spin on her character, but an attempt to sound like her original VA is best.
When a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink.
Hangover status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I either bought an 18 year old girl or I'm engaged to her... I'm not quite sure.
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