Okay, so you know Soul Eater? That, but shorter and funny.
Maka considers herself a perfect student and holds herself to an incredibly strict standard. In galring contradiction to this, however, she's nursing a major crush on her weapon partner (and roommate) Soul Evans.
[scoff] Typical.
Someone took a three-star mission and nobody knows who.
Soul, he just killed someone.
Patty is a four year old. Her favorite game is "Make People's Heads Explode."
She loves making "pew" noises.
Oh, that. Is this about the boobs again?
(pointing at a wiggling disembodied hand on the ground) There she is!
Pew! Pew pew!
Big guy at the DWMA. Grim Reaper. Father. Lover. Lord Death is all these things and more. His voice is naturally deep and gravelly, so he usually speaks in a more silly voice to avoid scaring the students. He drops that when things get real super serious, though. Similarly, his manner of speech seems alternatingly childish and crass.
Oh, yes! You two! Are you kids done yet? I want that new death scythe as soon as possible. This one humps everything, and I-- I can't get rid of the stains.
Oh, lovely. All that's left is the witch soul. Don't fuck it up. (pause) Let me repeat, (more intense) Don't. Fuck it. Up.
A samurai who likes kids and refuses to hurt them. Not a pedophile, more of a wandering pseudo-dad.
(sarcastically) Great. More people I have to kill.
Thanks. Look, I feel conflicted about fighting a little kid, can we just get this over with?
A gruff teacher who is probably a tiny bit more violent than he needs to be.
You wouldn't know him, he's not a student; he's Lord Death's son.
(blocks STAR's dive, launches him back into the air, follows him) Look, kids! A falling star!
Maka's roommate and weapon partner. Despises effort so much that he'll go to ironically extreme lengths to avoid trying. Wants to be a death scythe. Gifted pianist, though he never plays. Black*Star's best pal. Eats evil souls occasionally.
(laughing) He fuckin'-- he looks like Freddy Kreuger and the Michelin Man got nasty behind a Jack in the Box!
How should I kn-- oh there we go. (everything starts glowing) OH GOD, IT'S FINALLY HAPPENNING! ALL MY DREAMS ARE COMI--(stops glowing, fizzles) Bleh. Nope.
A street-talking necromancer who died before she earned a name. She will be missed.
Rizzle, rizzle, boil and fizzle, rise up, dawg, and do my bizzle!
Patty's big sister and one of Kid's weapons. Former Brooklyn street thug. Terrified of spooky things. Spends a lot of time trying to corrall Kid and Patty into achieving whatever goal the three set out for. Prefers getting other people to do her schoolwork for her.
Kid, you're an idiot.
Eww, why'd you put me in its mouth?
Fair enough. (to his lackeys) PERFORATE 'IM!
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ON MY TABLE?!
A thief who steals souls. He'd be dead if Kid wasn't such a perfectionist.
(while running) I can do this! I can do this!
Mute; communicates exclusively through various grunts, whistles, and mouth noises that don't require vocal chords. Joined the academy to hunt down her evil brother. Black*Star's weapon partner and "lovely assistant".
<affirmative grunt>
<scoffs>
<make an "i didn't say anything" sound/gesture combo>
A serial killer with knife hands. Speaks like a classical English gentleman. Has a real fondness for politeness and rules.
Hm. That was easy. (pause) It's a bit tricky to hold these now... better just eat it. (eats soul. Glowy whatever thing happens) Mercy sakes, that was invigorating!
Now, then. Miss, I'm terribly sorry to intrude upon your evening, but I'd quite like to eat your soul. Be a lamb and give i--
