Ride the Cyclone: Online Musical Edition

Ocean was born into a family of far left-of-center humanists who moved to northern Saskatchewan to live a carbon free lifestyle. The hemp needlepoint sign above the household toilet read, 'If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, scoop it out with your hand and put it in the compost'. Yet in-between all the drum circles, Marxist parables, and cheese sandwiches made from human breast milk, Ocean could never shake the feeling she was the white sheep of her family. It was only at the age of 8 when she found amongst her parents' record collection an album called 'Up with People'. The cloying positivity of this pro-capitalist gaggle of teen crooners brought tears to her eyes. Perhaps the peppiest thing Haliburton has ever produced. High school president, Straight A student. Ocean O'Connell Rosenberg: the Most Successful Girl in Town.

Little is known about Jane's previous life. She was a St. Cassian student, and went to the fair with the choir students. Jane died in the Cyclone accident, losing her head. This made her unidentifiable, and since no relatives came to claim her body, her name is unknown. She was buried as Jane Doe, and given a Christian funeral.

The only honour Constance Blackwood was to receive in her short lifetime was 'Nicest Girl in Homeroom' three years in a row— an award she secretly threw in the dumpster behind her local Kentucky Fried Chicken on her way home. When the children of Saint Cassian signed Constance's yearbook they wrote things like, 'Wow, you seemed so... nice' or, 'I never really met you. You seemed... friendly' Those pages in Constance's yearbook were carefully removed with an Exacto knife and burnt. Constance Blackwood: The Nicest Girl in Town

Mischa was conceived in a little town outside Odessa in Ukraine by a factory worker named Tamara. His mother, after being part of the clean up crew in Chernobyl, was dying of prolonged exposure to Uranium. Wanting her son to be safe, she decided to put him up for adoption—forging his birth certificate, she claimed he was two years old, and was recently potty trained. When Mischa came to Canada, his adoptive parents were surprised to see their toddler had five o’clock shadow, and a slight trace of alcohol on his breath. They put him in the basement, and his adoptive mother would prepare food and leave it for him on the top of the stairs. On the rare occasion he would run into his new parents—the mother would weep, and the father would shoo him away like a horsefly. So began an inexhaustible rage. He turned to the last bastion of pure strength and masculinity in society: self-aggrandizing commercialized hip-hop. This is how Mischa became, the angriest boy in town.

Born with a rare degenerative disease, when Richard lost his power of speech, the Potts family took a vow of silence; usually communicating in a series of strange gestures that only they understood. The only time they interacted with one another was when they read comics, or fed the cats... they had fourteen cats. From the time he was six years old and his knees began to buckle, Ricky was treated to the most appalling cruelty humanity can muster, complete indifference. Far from growing bitter, Ricky developed an elaborate playground in his synapses, where became his own best friend.

Very early on in Noel's life, his mother realized two things... The second was his pension for all things nihilistic. While other children acted out Harry Potter, Noel acted out French new-wave cinema. In grade 7, during the Saint Cassian Christmas Nativity Pageant, Noel was suspended for suddenly breaking into this excerpt from 'Waiting for Godot:

'There is no room at this inn, for it is Christmas. Shall we hang ourselves?'

'I hear it gives you an erection.'

'Then we must hang ourselves immediately!'

'Or we could just go to the manger, Joseph!'

Aspiring iconoclast, enfant terrible. Noel Gruber, the most romantic boy in town.

The Amazing Karnak, also known as simply Karnak, is a character in Ride the Cyclone. He is a precognition machine designed to predict the cause, time, and place of someone's death. This was not his main function when he was in use at the Fall Fair, where he seems to have only told people basic fortunes which consisted of their lucky number, a vague statement about their future, and to go ride the Cyclone. This function, called "Family Fun Novelty Mode", was set up when he was sold to the Fair due to the disturbing nature of his main usage. He dies at the end of the show, having been killed by Virgil chewing through his wires.