Politricks: A Political Satire audiodrama

Politricks: A Political Satire audiodrama

Project Overview

 

Washington, D.C. As President Robert R. Sloan's first term enters its final year, things are fairly dicey in the United States circa 2024.The Second Korean War continues to rage, unemployment is officiallyat 15% and in the midst of all these problems, the gulf betweenDemocrats and Republicans has only gotten wider and it's almostimpossible to get anything done for all the political posturing,backstabbing, and other nonsense so endemic to the toxic sludge thatis United States Government.


Fortunately, the President has a couple of aces in the hole: his Chief and Deputy Chief of Staff. Alex Wilson and Rachel Lane, two women who have no larger aspirations in the political process. Twowomen who cannot be blustered, bribed, or blackmailed intosubmission. Two women who have decided that the best way to play theWashington game is to break all the rules. Two women who can and willdo anything to ensure the President's first term is a successful one.


God help the Beltway.

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Politricks is a political satire revolving around the adventures of Alex and Rachel as they do everything theycan to get things done while President Sloan is in office. This meansthey often have to take some extreme measures seen by some people asquestionable at best and most likely illegal at worst. This seriesis, by and large, a comedy, but a very black one.

Those whoaudition should be prepared to curse wildly and creatively at variouspoints throughout the series, and be prepared to do a lot of yelling.This is not a quiet series.  This audition notice is primarilyfor the pilot episode, as I want to see how it plays beforecommitting to the full series. As such, only the characters in the first episode are being considered at this time. Future roles will beavailable as time goes on.

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Latest Updates

  • Auditions closed. More to come

    WHile initial auditions are now closed and casting has been made, watch this space, because more roles may become available in the near future.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Tina Vostic
open
Unpaid

Tina Vostic is a senior adviser serving directly under Rachel Lane. Unlike her counterpart, Danny Gutierrez, she's become used to Alex and Rachel's brand of cursing, yelling and threats to get things done. As such, she comes off as more competent in her job, although her bosses do manage to knock her off balance from time to time.

  • (bored) Are we gonna get back to the agenda, or --

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Alex Wilson
closed
Unpaid
cast offsite

THIS ROLE HAS BEEN CAST



Alex Wilson has absolutely no patience with incompetence, egotism, or misplaced machismo. This means that she considers Washington D.C. To be a festering pile of excrement that can double as the ninth ring of Hell. She is only the President's Chief of Staff because it took him four months to convince her to run his campaign and another six to accept the position once he clinched the nomination. Because of her extreme reluctance to enter the political sphere, and because she has no aspirations to any sort of career in politics once President Sloan is out of office, this has given her a unique sense of freedom. Alex is beholden to no one but the President and doesn't care whether someone on Capitol Hill likes her or not, just as long as they fear her. Her penchant for cursing is legendary, some say bordering on artistic, and is often coupled with not-so-vague threats against her target's person. However, Alex can also comparmentalize like nobody's business. When not getting errant senators or the Vice President to get in line, Alex can switch off her “dragon lady” routine for her husband and college age daughter whenever they need her. But anyone who happens to be on her list had best keep on their toes, because once she's done with her family, Alex is right back into the fray, thirsting for blood.

Alex's normal speaking voice is pleasant and professional. However, when on the job, she's terse, rude, and constantly on the edge of a high volume ass chewing.

  • Christ, it's like watching a trained poodle try to talk about Victor Hugo! We can't withdraw in six months! Period!

  • Because nobody capable of human fucking thought could possibly think it'd be a good idea for the Vice fucking President to openly contradict her superiors on national TV in full view of God, the Press Corps, and me.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
President Robert R. Sloan
closed
Unpaid
cast offsite

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AKA: Big Cheese


President Robert Sloan has a plan for America. One that entails thecountry actually improving during his Presidency. And having played the Washington game for years, first as a Senator, then as Secretary of the Treasury, President Sloan knows full well how broken the political machine is, and has decided to take radical steps to makesure things get done. He has called on Alex and Rachel (the three were friends in college) to help him get his action items pushed through the halls of Congress. He trusts them both implicitly,knowing that since neither of them care to play the game, they can't be corrupted by it. It also helps that both of them, in their assorted dealings with other Washington officials, have managed to give him a bulletproof shield of plausible deniability when it comes to their actions.


  • If you're going to throw a party in my house, the least you could do is send me an invitation.

  • I had to spend six months convincing you to be my adviser in the primary campaign, and four more convincing you to be my Chief of Staff after we'd won the nomination. You never asked. You fought like hell to get out of it. (pause) You know...

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Representative Maggie Griffin
closed
Unpaid
cast offsite

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AKA: Lobster Barbie


MaggieGriffin, Republican Representative from Maine, has been in the House for two terms and loves the power plays, the lobbying, and the asskissing. Her social skills have more than made up for the fact thatshe's a blithering incompetent who cares more about her own ego than representing her constituents. Most of her proposed bills aresuperficial and pointless, and she is a walking example of When Plastic Surgery Goes Wrong. However, because of her aforementionedsocial skills, she commands a fairly large voting bloc in the House.This gives her an unreasonable amount of power with an equallyunreasonable pattern of thinking she's more important andinvulnerable than she actually is. This is when Alex and Rachel tendto go to town and Maggie backs down... until her ego deludes her into thinking she can stand against them. Who knows? With the rightbackup, maybe she could.

  • And so you see, Mr. Speaker, it behooves us greatly to consider that perhaps a tax credit to certain fashion designers might help bolster the economic low-end in towns containing shopping malls, outlets, and higher-end department stores.

  • Chelsea, be a lamb and have my secretary call Leslie Landon, please.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Danny Gutierrez
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: osullivansam

Danny is one of the senior advisors serving directly under Rachel Lane. He's new to the position and especially not used to the way Alex and Rachel do things. As such, he's in a constant state of low grade terror that one day, his bosses will finally follow through on their threat to use his head as a soccer ball if he screws up bad enough. 


Unfortunately, that same state of terror usually causes him to cause Alex and Rachel to question whether it's worth it to keep him around.

  • (Making excuses) It seemed important at the time. I mean, you'd think the President's Chief of Staff would want to know that the President's approval rating's slipping another --

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Rachel Lane
closed
Unpaid
cast offsite

THIS ROLE HAS BEEN CAST


in an earlier life, Rachel was Alex's college roommate and best friend. Nowadays, while still best friends, Rachel serves as Alex's enforcer, getting things done when Alex can't see to them personally. Like Alex, Rachel has no further political aspirations once the President is out of office, but she intends to enjoy every minute of “nailing a few Beltway f***nozzles to the door” while she can. While she curses almost as creatively as Alex, her real talent is in her threats. Ranging from forcible bestiality to smashing a few coffeepots with her beloved Louisville Slugger to the creative application of a few power tools during delicate negotiations (that's not a metaphor, by the way, she brings literal power tools to negotiations), Rachel has garnered a reputation that may even be more terrifying in Washington than Alex's. It is not for nothing that in the corridors of power, many fear a visit from “The Red Death” more than a visit from Alex.

Rachel, despite her contempt for the system, loves her job for the opportunity to threaten and scream at the inhabitants of the Beltway all she likes. She is usually pleasant and upbeat in her speech, especially when making threats. When under a deadline, however, she becomes extremely animated and tense. No one wants to be on her bad side in those situations.

  • My, somebody's in a cheerful mood this morning. Did we drink our daily caffeine allotment in one sitting again? Or did you just see the news?

  • Close your mouth, Harry and the Hendersons, or I'm going to bring a horny donkey in here and videotape it violating you from about a dozen different fucking angles.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Vice President Pamela Dixon
closed
Unpaid
cast offsite

THIS ROLE HAS BEEN CAST



Pamela Dixon is only the VP because if Sloan hadn't made her his running mate when she lost the nomination, she would have done anything to tank the President's campaign during the general election. Ever since then, she has done everything she can short of outright mutiny to make it seem that Sloan is a lame duck President. She takes pot shots at him in the press, makes impassioned cases for political moves with timetables she knows can't possibly be met, and generally implies that she would be a much better choice to sit in the Oval Office. So far, most of her gambits haven't paid off thanks to Alex and Rachel working to muzzle or discredit her in the press, but if the right catalyst could be found, she could be a major thorn in the President's side somewhere down the line.

Pamela is old guard Washington politician: Smiling to your face one second, stabbing you the second your back is turned the next. She hates Alex and Rachel with a passion and tries to maintain her composure at all times when dealing with them. This usually fails.

  • Sloane's going to be pissed, so you can count on him letting Wilson off the leash. Plan for the ass-chewing to commence sometime around noon. Where does that leave us for the rest of the day?

  • You know, I'd call you two spineless amoebae, but why would I want to insult perfectly useful protozoa?

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Yancey MacGregor
closed
Unpaid
cast offsite

THIS ROLE HAS BEEN CAST


Yancey MacGregor is the top rated pundit of the hit cable political news series "The MacGregor File." She acts sort of as the Greek Chorus for the series, setting up important plot points throughout each episode, and occasionally interacting with the rest of the cast.

As far as personality, think Nancy Grace if she chose to focus on politics rather than crime.

  • Good evening. First item in the File tonight: Is the honeymoon over in the White House? As we prepare to wrap up another year with our troops on the ground in Korea, and will the election less than a year away, President Robert Sloan appears to be losing support from his own staff.

  • Miss Lane, it's an open secret in the Beltway that Vice President Dixon is no longer on speaking terms with Chief of Staff Wilson or yourself. I put it to you that you -- well, you and Miss Wilson, with the President's approval -- are hostile to dissenting voices in the administration. And that you're planning to push her out of the White House and off the ticket, and replace her as soon as possible with Senator Marsh of New Hampshire. What do you have to say to that?

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