lets read homestuck!
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to be honest its pretty self explanatory, its the narrator!
*disclamer, he talks like, A LOT.*
- male adult
- male teen
A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man's birthday.
Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!
What will the name of this young man be?
Rose Lalonde is an Articulate, Intelligent and cynical girl, shes very insightful into everyone else's neuroses, but perhaps not as aware of her own. For all her outward poise and confidence, Rose is still a 13-year-old girl, and is prone to all the silliness and insecurities of anyone her age. Rose's typing quirk is typing formally.
- female teen
- female adult
It must be hard to keep a low profile when you're always overhearing awed voices whisper, 'It's that guy who has a blog."
In Some cultures the persistent refusal of a lady's invitation to play a game with her would be a signwanton disrespect. Either that, or flagrant homosexuality.
I am currently scrawling notes furiously into one of the many pyschoanalysis journals I maintain for you. Published papers forthcoming.
Jade Harley, a silly, mystical and kind girl. For a girl who grew up with barely any human contact, Jade's amazingly good at this friendship thing. Whether it's joking with her friends or risking her life for them, Jade is a team player, always ready to cheer others up. Jades typing quirk is no caps, emoticons and a lot of punctuation
- female teen
- female adult
well... it sounds really crazy and kind of scary but... it also sounds kind of exciting!
hmm, well i think whatever it is it must be pretty important! dont lose hope, john, i think it will all turn out for the best if you stay positive.
well, its hard to explain!!! but... i know what it is now! and now i know everythings going to be ok!
Tavros is mild-mannered, sensitive, and a bit on the shy side. Most trolls have a healthy amount of hate, their primary emotion, but Tavros doesn't seem to have the ability to do much more than get briefly irritated. You can honestly tell how he sounds with his typing quirk, which is inverted case and uses commas excessively!
- male adult
- male teen
hEYYY, fIRST, oK, i THINK YOU'RE AWFUL, lET'S PUT THAT FACT ON THE TABLE WHERE WE CAN BOTH SEE IT, nOW YOU HAVE BEEN PRIMED FOR THE DIGESTIVE RUINATION THAT'S ABOUT TO TAKE PLACE, aND THE COMPREHENSIVE SOILING OF THE LAUNDRY ENVELOPING YOUR PERSON.
oKAYYYY, mY BROMO SAPIEN, r U READY, tO GET STRAIGHT IN, FLAT DOWN, BROAD SIDE, SCHOOL FED UP THE BONE BULGE, bY A DOPE SMACKED, TRINKED OUT, SMOTHER FUDGING, tROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL,
yEAHHH, yOU CAN TALK ABOUT THE CLOWN THINGS, wHICH, i DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND EVER, bUT THAT'S OKAY, bECAUSE IT'S KIND OF FUNNY, wHEREAS, i'LL ADDRESS SOME TOPICS PERTAINING TO MY INTERESTS, aND i GUESS, pERSONAL MOTIFS,
Vriska is a masterminding manipulator who is driven by a need to be eight steps ahead of everyone else. She is creative and calculating, and uses her intelligence to get what she wants, against all odds. Vriskas typing quirk is 8's for b's, and shortened words with 8, like h8!
- female adult
- female teen
Anyway Tavros, you've been amazingly 8oring as usual, so I'm going to go.
8elieve it or not, the 8lue team doesn't have a single player in the session yet!
May8e I don't mind ghosts. May8e they'll 8e gr8 company once I get used to them!
Gamzee is a major antagonist, while still maintaining a silly demeanor. He doesn't antagonize anyone, and is shown to be incredibly calm, even when being yelled at. He swears often, types with alternating letters, and avoids most conflicts, preferring to relax.
- male adult
- male teen
AnYwAy I'lL gO iNsIdE iN a WhIlE, wHy DoN't YoU gEt KaRkAt To FiRe Up ThAt MoThErFuCkEr WiTh YoU?
oH mAn SoRrY. I sPaCeD oUt, DiD yOu KnOw HoW bEaTuFuL tHe SoUnD oF tHe OcEaN iS? hAvE yOu EvEr EvEn SeEn ThE oCeAn?
oK lIkE jUsT bE tAkIn tHiS fUcKiN tItS bOtTlE oF fUcKiN fAyGo I jUsT cRaCkEd Up OpEn. AnD hOw It'S bEiNg AlL lIkE hIsSiNg AnD sHiT.
Eridan is a sea-dweller and has an affection for tales of historical leaders, conquerors, and military history. His passion for these extravagant stories of conquest and glory lends itself to his overly theatrical mannerisms and his massive ego. People tend to see him as a "bit of a tool". His typing quirk is double ww and double vv when spelling words, with no punctuation.
[By the way, please pronounce the ww like "wuh wuh" and the vv like "w", so like hawin a great time!]
- male adult
- male teen
hey sorry for bustin in on the memo but i cant get ahold of you youre not answwerin
hey terezi can you go givve that four horned mustard blooded land licking sack of rubbish ovver there a message for me
first as if this scum is evven wworthy of a rivvalry wwith me and second as if im not totally DONE wwith you like i havve TOLD you REPEATEDLY
Equius is a complicated and initially disturbing troll. He is a firm believer of one should respect those higher than them and be personally disgusted by those who are lower. Any deviation from this pattern flusters him *greatly*. He tries ordering highbloods to order him around, but notices the contradiction. He tries to keep up with many aristocratic practices, He likes to build robots, intending to destroy them in bouts of rage.Equius values strength, but has trouble controlling it.
Equius' typing quirk is a bow and arrow at the ready ("D -->"), replacing LOO with 100, so b100d or a100f, x with %. Capitalizes STRONG, all derivatives, and the first letter of sentences. No ending punctuation. Replaces the word "nay" with "neigh," along with various other horse/cow puns.
- male teen
- male adult
Thank you, from the very bottom of my ludi%ly powerful cardiova%ular system
Archery is among the highest and most e%ceptional crafts, held in tremendous regard by the most a100f classes for centuries
Now that I think about it, I should probably deactivate his pelvic magnetron
Sollux is seen as introverted, as well as having a bipolar disorder. In one instance, before he could be given a name, he sent the player away just to change his mind after the scenes switched. He's self-deprecating, often beating himself up about little things, such as how he thinks he isn't a good enough hacker when it's very clear he is. Due to his zodiac sign of Gemini, he has a liking towards bifurcation and duality, and often splits things into red or blue.
Sollux types S's with 2's and always doubles ii's. When he becomes blind later on into the story, his o's are 0's. By the way, Sollux has a lisp!
- male adult
- male teen
yeah ii am 2uch an iidiiot for not rewardiing your bubbly per2onaliity and iimpeccable people 2kiill2 wiith a leader2hiip giig.
maybe they know we made them? maybe iit'2 liike a tiip. liike thank2 dude2 for makiing u2 exii2t.
g0t me with his fucking science stick, but it's my fault, i t0tally underestimated him.
The Intermission Narrator, you'll never guess it, narrates the intermission! The Narrator narrates the midnight crew (basically a silly and nearly dysfunctional italian mobster group).
- italian mobster
- male adult
You rummage around. It's no unusual assortment of belongings, and nothing any mobster worth his salt would be caught plotting and scheming without. Certainly nothing eyebrow raising.
Everybody out of the god damn way. You got a hat full of bomb, a fist full of penis, and a head full of empty.
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