Bondless Prince, Bloodless Knight: Homestuck Podfic First Arc
Project Overview
This is a podfic for the tournament arc of my Homestuck medieval AU, Bondless Prince, Bloodless Knight. This encompasses chapters 1 - 19. Please be sure to check out the tags to make sure you'll be okay with the contents (it's rated Teen and Up, so there shouldn't be anything too objectionable).
While ideally everyone who signs up for characters this arc will be set for future arcs, I'm trying to compartmentalize it a bit so no one has to be signed on for too terribly long if other things comes up. That said, if you sign up for a major role, please be willing to make the commitment to it for this arc.
If you want to know more about me, you can check out my Twitter, and my podcast, Live Laugh Stuck (where this will be hosted while it's on a hiatus).
Some of the minor roles might be open to double casting, though not required.
Also! Trans auditions are welcome and encouraged, so go for whichever characters you want! Same with accents, whatever interpretation of characters you want will be welcome.
Thank you to all of those who audition!
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I still plan to do most of the editing myself, but if you have any experience in Audacity or mixing or foley work or anything, I'd appreciate the help!
Say something you think would fit
I'd like to have unique episode art for each episode we put out! Not all episodes will be one chapter, some will be multiple, so it won't be 19 pieces. Flat color pieces would be what I'm looking for, or if you're good at graphic design, something else that could represent whatever section we're reading. Can be multiple people.
Say something you think would fit
The titular Bondless Prince, he speaks with little inflection most of the time, and as such gets away with a lot of dry humor. He has so many irons in the fire and it seems everyone has come to fuck them up. He's learned to be all-too self reliant.
I am pleased to hear you will not be literally calling for my head, Master Crocker. I was getting worried there for a moment.
The king and queen are gone. My brother is gone. I’m all that’s left.
The titular Bloodless Knight, he's obviously very important. He's gruff and suspicious but he cares deeply for his friends, especially Dave. He just wishes weird shit would stop happening. Trans men are especially encouraged to audition!
I respectfully decline his Majesty's generous offer of reward and will instead focus on protecting the civilians watching the tournament while my comrades are otherwise occupied.
So that's it? You'll just let a cheat run rampant? Is that the kind of tournament you're holding?
Dave plays a major part in this and is in 15 of the 19 chapters, so only audition if you can commit! He's the slightly detached Dave we know from the comic, but he cares for Karkat deeply. Trans men are especially encouraged to audition!
It’s a training sword, dude. Can’t get much worse than it already is.
“I’m pretty fucking serious, dude! You lucked out when you were magically better yesterday, and then you go and pull this shit? What the fuck? What the *fuck*?
Rose likes to meddle in Dirk's plans, but only until he begins to meddle back. She, too has irons in the fire, but no one can guess what they are. She genuinely cares about the few people she trusts, and wants the best for them.
I was rather hoping to relax, having just returned home after being away for so long, but if I must to keep you from staging a coup, Jane, dearest, then I will do what I can.
I've always been sneaky, dear.
Not a very big role, but he lives to be flustered by the royalty around him and snub his nose at those he thinks is unworthy.
Your majesty! Thank you for taking time out of your day to lower yourself to speak with me. I look forward to the upcoming show of strength you have announced.
Please speak of our liege more properly! I will not stand for any disrespect.
I lean heavily into a sort of trickster John, who loves to spend his time teasing his friends, especially Dave. I have him in the fic as having a high voice, but I'm willing to edit that to fit whatever voice captures him the most.
If this is the best the kingdom has to offer, I have this tournament in the bag, I think.
Aw, be nice, Eq! They’re the best of the best, so dear Dirk-y boy says!
Jane is the head of the baker's guild and exists to keep Dirk in line. With everyone else, she's sweet as can be, and will bake you as many pies as you need.
Do you control the weather now? If it is like you control anything else, I suppose I’ll have to go fix that, too!
Half of you are far too thin for my liking and a bite of sweet is no substitute for breakfast!
The captain of the royal knights, she'll kick your ass into gear with a wicked grin. She's proud of her knights and takes her and their duties seriously.
Today is not so dire, my brethren! Today you are to be recognized! State your name and the competition in which you will show why you are the best of the best, worthy above all others to protect your prince!
I took a look at the schedule. None of you are against each other so there are no excuses to not see each of you in the semifinals.
A bubbly water fey who suffers no fools. She'll put you in your place with a smile.
Finally! I was wondering if she was going to make us keep these on the whole time!
Do you think I'm trying to trick you, little one? Do you think I'm going to take your name or your voice or your beating heart?
Prince of Derse, Eridan is simply better than everyone and doesn't mind saying it.
Who the fuck invited these fey freaks?
Speaking of this shit, why are you keeping those masked morons around?
Kanaya is a fey, fierce in fighting, but calm and level headed otherwise.
Let's get started, shall we? The sooner Jade can pick up some of the weight of this place, the better.
I'll be with Rose, the seer, if you need me. At least for the next few months.
Jade just wants to have fun! Can't she just have fun?
I'm fine, Kan! Can't a girl have a little fun?
I'm Jade Harley, ambassador of the witch's grove, and I do hope the rest of your people are not quite so frail as the gentleman I was against earlier.
Hey, good luck out there, man.
What a himbo. (x2 (this is funny because I just did Rufioh's)) I describe him as having a deep voice, but that can change. This is a fully realized Jake who is much more confident in himself.
Hal. You've been avoiding me.
I don’t know what I thought. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Roxy is a rogue, going against the grain to get shit done and teasing people all the while.
We’re not thieves, we’re outlaws.
Usually I make a guy take me out to dinner before they get me like this.
Mituna is a snide motherfucker who don't care about no rules.
I was unarmed, wasn’t I?
Good thing you stepped in, then.
Well that was quite an opening act!
I’m afraid I might trounce you too quickly, if that’s what you mean.
Thieves be thieving
Ow, shit!
Fuckity shit. Don’t suppose I can convince you boys to let me go?
Thieves be thieving (x2)
Guess we get to have a little fun, then.
A chaotic seer who likes to harass her patrons.
C’mon, royal fuckboy or whatever, I got a new fortune for ya!
Not a chance, dipshit. This bird don’t sing for free.
Nervous in front of authority, but tries to do right by her patients above all else.
I will advise them against participating tomorrow, especially for the knight. This is… this is just a tournament, highness.
This shouldn't be possible. For Jade Harley it made some amount of sense--she's a fey-- but for you…
Takes his job seriously, but the prince (Dirk) keeps him on his toes, so he has somewhat of a nervous disposition.
His royal highness, Prince Diederik, Lord of the Bilious Plains, Founder of the Autonomous Guild, Conqueror of the Shade Ogres, Peacekeeper of the Dersite, and heir to the Skaian throne welcomes you to this celebration of the upcoming harvest, and invites you to enjoy the festivities and tournaments to come.
There will, ah, be alternate sources for security during the festivities, though his highness appreciates your dedication to your duty.
This character will mostly be announcing who is in each fight and who won.
Alarmingly punctual. You’re up first, sir.
Just say some character names.
At least two women and one man would be nice. Extra voices in other scenes.
We swear our loyalty to our prince! Long may he serve the people!
Sorry, Karkat.
At least two women and two men.
Fight me!
*sounds of cheering*
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