A Bad Week at the Wizengamot Audio Book
Project Overview
A dramatic reading of the fanfic, A Bad Week at the Wizengamot.
Basically, Harry Potter is expelled from Hogwarts, and proceeds to troll both Cornelius Fudge and Dumbledore in the most unpredictable ways imaginable.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3639659/1/A-Bad-Week-at-the-Wizengamot
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- english
- male teen
- english (british)
Sir, I have already lived a fairly miserable life among the muggles I'm related to.
You've cleared up a number of problems for me... and created more than you can imagine for yourselves.
- english
- deep
- male senior
- aristocratic british
- english (british)
- Grandfatherly
Well, I can see that the average intelligence level has gone downhill since you first forced me out, Cornelius and Doolores....
No one charged with misuse of underage magic has been tried by the full Wizengamot. Not ever, Cornelius.
Madam, he's more Slytherin than anyone since Salazar himself. I hope you each enjoy what comes next. I expect this to hurt. A lot.
- english
- male adult
- male senior
- english (british)
- english (posh)
And this august body finds you, Harry Potter, guilty of misuse of underage magic. We expel you from Hogwards and order your wand snapped.
May you live a miserable life among the muggles.
Explain. Clearly, simply. You know I don't have a head for details or complicated explanations.
Head of Goblin Relations Office
- male adult
- british (posh)
- english (british)
The goblins just lost ten percent of their assets and they're blaming you. More than one of them wants to roast you on an open flame and serve you up at a goblin feast.
They've never lost a client this important before. Based on what I gleaned, Potter is arranging for the gnomes in Switzerland to take control of his asset management. And you know how goblins feel about gnomes.
East European man representing the Bulgarian Ministry of Magic
- english
- male adult
- male senior
- East European
- bulgarian
- northwestern bulgarian
- slavic
I don't suppose you're too upset about your predecessor's disgrace then, are you, minister?
Well, it was part of the deal Potter struck to become a French citizen, I believe.
I've heard about your plan to place Dolores at Hogwarts. In real schools, teachers are required to demonstrate their qualifications in the subjects they teach. Political connections are irrelevant.
Unnamed Secretary, Fudge couldn't remember if her name was "Bettina" or "Amelinda."
- female adult
- english (british)
The Goblins have seized the Ministry's Money, sir.
Dirk Cresswell tried to floo you late last night, but you weren't answering.
I accept either female or male voice actors for this role, as long as the latter is willing to speak in an obnoxious falsello.
- english
- female senior
- female adult
- Male Falsello accepted
- english (british)
- british (highbrow)
- aristocratic british
- british (posh)
So what? He's just an undereducated, self-inflated child.
Who will ever know what happened here? I'm not going to talk about it, are you? (last sentence threatening)
- english
- male adult
- french (france)
With all due honesty, sir, you've obviously never deserved it more.
- english
- male adult
- german
If there's just one more screw up, Fudge, the EMU will vote to assume the right to supervise your government, every aspect of it.
Apparently all of them, Cornelius. All of them.
- english
- male adult
- male senior
- british (highbrow)
- british (posh)
I won't be shown up by the French, you hear?!
Get this Harry Potter back on his native soil, and I will have the Queen knight him. No, I'll have her ennoble the young lad, even better.
I believe the Queen might be in need of a court jester, you see, and you rather seem to fit the bill with your general portliness and level of incompetence.
Angry exploding letter
- english
- female senior
- british
- Angry
HOW DARE YOU RAISE THE TUITION AT HOGWARDS BY TWO HUNDRED PERCENT, ALBUS!
Chief Historian
- english
- male adult
- british
- male senior
Minister, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I guess I am
We're locked out sir, the magic is suspended.
Dark Lord
- english
- high pitched
- Scary
- harsh
- male adult
- androgynous
Wormtale, I want these twenty-three people to die gruesome, yet still accidental deaths over the next two days.
- english
- british
- male adult
- female adult
Why, I've never! Been declared international pariahs, have we? Can't get out of Britain to visit any other countries, can we? What kind of ineptitude has caused this? And who do we blame?
Will accept more than one person for this role.
- english
- male adult
- female adult
- german
It's against EMU treaties to possess blood quills, madam, and you seem to have seven.
Voldermort's one remaining death eater
- english
- male adult
It's good, my lord. Strong tannins.
Stinky Criminal
- english
- male adult
- british (cockney)
- tolkien cockney
Dung, t'ey call ma Dung.
Feels betta when I flash 'im ina wind, ya know?
Dun't use 't 'nuf, you see. Fallin' off, I spect
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