Waking up is never fun. You're tired and groggy. You hate your job, your marriage is in shambles, and you have a sneaking suspicion your children are drug addicts. Why would anyone in your position want to get up and play out such a miserable existence?

Fortunately for you, the Wakemaster Alarm Clock is so loud, so infuriatingly noisy, that you'll have no choice but to get of bed and run three miles - just to get the ringing out of your ears. With its password encrypted snooze button, this precise, state of the art atomic clock will never fail to wake you up, saving you and your family from your own existential dread.

The Wakemaster Alarm Clock. Now in three colors. Platinum, Yellow, and Lime Green.