" Listen, you have to realize the utter genius of it all! You see, where I come from, a ruse like this would put you on a one way ticket to the lynching tree. But it's all worth it for the amazing humor in it all! Sam Chowder! Hah! They'll look at the records and say "My that looks a tad bit like clam chowder." The poor fools don't know that I made that name BECAUSE of that! It'll be on everything we buy! Cars, deeds, phones, planes, you name it! All of them are going to proudly brand "Sam Chowder" all over it! It's hilarious!"

"I remember when I was a lad my mother would make a shepherd's pie that could beat the legs off Satan himself! Oh yeah, and the time she put into it, having to go out and get the corn, potatoes and cheese from the market, then having to shuck the corn, shred the cheese, mash the potatoes and then cook it all up! Altogether it’d take her about 13 hours of work to make a simple meal for me and my sister. And then comes this pizza stuff! I can ring up some young man and have a pizza at my door in less than 30 minutes! I don't even have to leave the house! Though the pizza doesn't have the good ‘ol charm that my mothers pie did."