Mother: There you are. What are you doing in this horrible place?

Wife: It's my home, mother.

Mother: This is where you live? But there's so much...sun. 

Wife:  We're vault dwellers not vampires. Harold and I are very happy here.

Mother: Harold? Is that a surface boy's name?

Wife:  It is. And the two of us are very much in love.

Mother: Oh dear, you know it won't last.

Wife:  That's not true. The two of us are perfectly compatible. We both like hot dogs, walks on the beach, and our favorite movie is "Love Sets Sail."

Mother: You may be compatible with him, but is America compatible with the Chinese? Because that's what'll end your relationship, not some adolescent fight over what movie you want to see.