Voices From The Outer Ring (Lead Role Re-Opened)
MrBeeRadley for Jaska
A young man who has lived a fairly average life thus far. Jaska never went to college and instead jumped from job to job while making a small circle of friends. Never really an ambitious man, Jaska found himself in a comfortable cycle of making a typical paycheck and hanging out with his circle on the weekends. Everything he has, he's worked for, and he's considered among his friends as the "voice of reason." At heart he is an observer; always taking in his surroundings and the people around him. Initially, Jaska is gentle and meek, but when he's dragged into the conspiratorial pull of the city's various factions, he soon learns to tap into burgeoning heroism to become something greater than he already is.
His voice should be medium-pitched with a warm tone. Keep in mind that this is a lead role, and will require greater commitment than the supporting and minor roles due to significantly more reading. Please only audition for this role if you are certain you will be able to consistently submit lines in a timely manner.
[Optional: You don't have to do this, but I would like it if you introduced yourself and state what made you interested in this project.]
(Narrating) "I remember the night I first met him. I was working a part-time shift at a convenience store. He came in one day, face bloodied up, looking like all kinds of hell. Despite the number done on him, he had a smirk on his face. I'll never forget it. It was a devil's kind of smirk. A 'You think I look bad? You should see what I did to the other guy' kind of smirk. He didn't speak a word. Didn't ask to use the phone or have me call a doctor. He just went and grabbed a six-pack of cold ones and slapped a twenty on the counter. The first thought that came to my mind was, 'Man, this guy must be some sort of badass.'"
(Introducing himself) "You know, we've been bumping into each other for a while now and I never really got the chance to know your name. I'm Jaska, but you can call me Jas."
Hello and thank you for audition. I am very honored you chose my project for your first audition, and I will do my best to provide you with fair and constructive criticism. To start off, your recording is very clear without any white noise or plosives. Having the right equipment and software to produce suitable sound is often the first hurdle to overcome, and you've already got it down. Also, your voice and tone seem to be a good overall fit. Now here comes the hard part. There's quite a number of issues with your read that I would like to touch upon. The first thing that bothers me when I listen to your audition is the read itself for the narration lines. You appear to just be "reading off the script." Half of voice acting is the "acting" part, and a big part of playing a character is to actually get INTO character. You want to immerse the listener into the illusion that you are in fact, the character you are trying to portray. Regrettably, your read on the narration doesn't quite convince me that I'm hearing them from the character himself. My advice would be to really get into it - put a little more emotion to it where emotion is needed. Imagine yourself in a room with another person, and pretend you're telling them this story as if it actually happened to you. You're reading the words a little too fast, and you end up stumbling over some of your words because you aren't enunciating. Slow it down. If you were talking to a real person and telling them a story, you'd speak at a pace appropriate for them to properly absorb what you are telling them. Decisive uses of pauses can also speak volumes just by themselves. Inflect more. The little unique mannerisms in the way a person talks is what makes their speech "more human" and adds personality. So, to reiterate: get into character, slow it down, and enunciate. Take your time. Now, I don't want you to take any of this personally - I'm not trying to put you down or anything. In fact, I believe you have a lot of potential that just needs a little push. This is part of why I started this project after all, because I want to do what I can to help push you in the right direction. As for other characters that you can voice, I'd say try out for whichever roles you want, even if you don't believe you'd be a good fit for them. Part of growing is learning to step outside your comfort zone, and you don't have anything to lose by trying. After all, a bad impression is just a brand-new voice for your repertoire. Part of the fun is convincing your listeners that you are truly a different person, not just doing voices that conveniently match up with your normal speaking voice. As it stands, you could probably do a decent voice for Victor, but I would encourage you to try for whichever role you desire. I noticed you haven't set up a demo reel yet, so I don't know the range that you can provide. Practice, practice, practice. When you're setting up your demo reel, be able to not only display the different kinds of voices you can do, but the emotions you can emulate as well. I certainly hope this helps, and I do wish to hear more from you soon.
Thank you so much for the criticism. I will make sure to improve on all the areas you have listed and hopefully provide much better 2nd reading. Also, I wanted to ask what the character is feeling when he is saying this. Is he saying it in a conversational, happy mood, or is he recounting this experience like it frightened him or is up to interpretation. Would love to know so I can put the right feeling into it.
Always happy to help. For the narration line, Jaska is actually reliving the day he first met Chiaro. Since they’re friends, he isn’t saying it in a frightening manner when he’s talking to the reader, but has a rather intense feeling about it. I’m also interested in hearing what else you can put out there, aside from your normal voice, so I’d highly recommend auditioning for other roles as well.