AUDITION SIDE: 

Lucifer: Charlie! It’s so good to see you.

(Charlie: Uh, it’s uh, good to see you too, Dad. Ahem—welcome to the Hazbin Hotel.)

Lucifer: Oh hewwo Keekee. Razzle, Dazzle, rutututu. Aw, look how you haven’t grown. Still fun sized! You taking care of my wittle girl? You better be. (Lucifer laughs) Wow! This place sure looks uh…uh huh…yeah, uh it’s got a lot of character—oh, what in the unholy hell is that!? 

(Alastor: Just some of the renovations we had done. Adds a bit of color, don’t you think?)

Lucifer: And you are?

(Alastor: Alastor. Pleasure to be meeting you, sir, quite a pleasure. It’s nice to finally put a face to the name. You are much shorter in real life.)

Lucifer: Who is this. Who is this now, are you the bellhop?

(Alastor: Ha ha, no! I am the host of the hotel! You might have heard of me from my radio broadcast.)

Lucifer: Hmm, nope! I guess that’s why Charlie called it the ‘Hazbin’ Hotel, ah ha ha.

(Alastor: Ha ha ha, it was actually my idea.)

Lucifer: Ha ha ha, well it’s not very clever. 

(Alastor: Ha ha! Fuck you.)