For the most part, I just don't think your voice fit this character all too well. It's too deep. I would have liked a bit more variety in the takes too. Maybe use a different voice or change the delivery, but if you're going to give a casting director more than two takes, give them a reason to want to hear another take. I say that encouragingly, not to put you down, by the way. :) We are all learning and I still make plenty of mistakes that I'll find out about later. :P Thank you for auditioning!