Good afternoon, obedient citizens! We gather to celebrate 200 glorious years of the Brothers of Parliament — guiding London through fire, fallout, and the occasional unfortunate melting incident.

For 200 steady years, the brothers have sheltered us, shaped us, and guided every step we take through the Waste. Their vigilance has kept the dark at the borders. Their wisdom has carved order from ruin. And their watch — quiet, constant — has ensured London Reborn never strays.

Don’t forget attendance at your local Loyalty Festival is mandatory. Last year, a gentleman ‘misplaced’ his invitation… and parts of him are still turning up in the drainage filters.