Alrighty! We have ourselves a good start here, as you have a nice gung ho and good energy to bring to this table. However this feels fairly rushed when it comes to this, while we request you to do this in one take that doesn’t necessarily mean that we have to do it in the first take before you hit record, I recommend that you just read the script aloud to yourself, so you can get familiar with it as while you have some good pronunciation and enunciation, the words are flubbed quite a bit throughout this read, and while some of it may come from the speed that you are reading, which I’ll get into in a moment, but it can be chalked up to just having a bit of unfamiliarity with the script. 

When you want to approach a read cold (AKA on the first try) remember that you can prep yourself.

When it comes to the pacing, I’m gonna ask you to slow it down here, as I find there’s a bit of slurring words, but you manage to slow it down on the latter half of this read, and along with that you have a good warm smile that allows you to have such a warm read to this, like I want to be able to hear it. 

Good recovery when a part of a script really keeps messing you up, just gotta go back from a previous place and then just hit the ground there. 

One more thing that I think needs to be pointed out is your projection, it’s a bit on the lower side here, I’d like to see it be around an 8 when right now it’s currently at a 5, think of trying to make sure you can be heard in this crowded gymnasium right now. 

But all in all, good work!