When it comes to this read, I feel that the projection could use a little work, it's currently at a 5, and I would like to see it hit the sweet spot of an 8. 

There's a good casual smile when you read this! Which is definitely something that I do appreciate it. I will say however that this read feels a little too connsistent for me, and I'd like to see you change things up more in the future. 

I like that you kept the mistake in, but here's a tip when you do flub like that. Don't be afraid to stop the read, reassess and then go in from a previous point. 

Going back to trying to be inconsistent, think of how we have a conversation with other people, there are some good change ups here, but overall there's a lot more consistency when it comes to this read. Being conversational stops this from sounding like a read and more like a character speaking. 

Good attitude and a good start!