This pacing is really fast, I'm going to need you to slow down and experiment with some pauses when you read. It allows the script to breathe and allows the audience to take in what is currently being said. That being said, you do slow down during the latter half, but it's a little too slight and it needs to be a bit more apparent. 

Your projection is good! You're at a 7, but the sweet spot I am looking for is an 8. But all in all, a great attempt! Just need a little bit more. 

One thing that I want to see focused on is definitely going to be looking for a more conversational read moving forward, think about specifically how we speak to one another in our daily lives. And that can really help out slow the pacing down. 

Another thing is that I'm looking for is a smile, having that hint of a smile is there but I would like a bigger smile and that help give your read a bit more of a warmer conversational read when it comes to this. 

Good start, and that's just that, a start. You're in for a lovely experience here.