[Appalled, bossy, disgusted] Pippin! This locker is a total catastrophe! Books bent at forty-five-degree angles, half-chewed pencils all over the floor, and—EWWW!—is that gum on your math notebook?! No, no, no, absolutely unacceptable! Don’t touch anything, I’ll handle it. Trust me—you’ll thank me later.

[Pensive, thoughtful] Do things ever feel… off to you? Like weird stuff keeps happening that shouldn’t—and everyone just goes along with it? I don’t know—maybe it’s just me.

[Fired up, determined] You know what? I AM going to that party—I’ll prove I’m not the uptight, academic buzzkill everyone thinks I am! And then—when they invite me to the next one—I’ll do what I always do: politely decline! Tradition upheld! (psych-up) HAAA!