Good voice! Gotta work a bit more on the alliteration here, as the word “Fennie” sounds like “Frenie”, along with that, I would just be a little bit careful on how you attack each word on the alliterations. Specifically, I see that you are attacking the F’s and it’s creating this stilted feeling to the read, don’t be afraid to let it all flow. Your pronunciation and enunciation is good, and I trust that it’s going to become 2nd nature now. 

When it comes to this read, specifically on the idea of trying to create excitement, the place to start is that big smile. Because subconsciously, it’ll get you to get excited about whatever you’re reading about. And then from there it will reflect in your read, the smile is there in the beginning but it tends to fade away towards the middle portion of it. Try to keep that big smile throughout! 

Another thing I’d like to hear, is more change ups, the voice you are portraying is exciting, yes. But you need to change it up to help showcase that excitement, try to visual the highlight reel, and think of the scene, specifically, when it comes to highlight reels, and especially when it shows replays, they may tend to slow it down, so the crowd can watch it back and really see how it goes. 

But good progress so far, keep going!