Sorry for the late submission!

Good read! 

It sounds like you had two scenes in mind based on your notes. Try to be specific and narrow it down to one scene. Good start on the scene. Are the kids still wide awake as you get towards the end or are they starting to get sleepy? How old are the children? Should your tone at the end become quieter and more soothing to lull them to sleep? Are you rocking back and forth as you tell this story, or are you sitting on the edge and talking to them the whole time? Or do you shuffle back after a certain point and start rocking? Do you have a smile on your face as you tell the story? Or are you very serious about it? How are the kids dynamically responding as you tell them each point? Giggling? Shock and awe? Confused? Distracted? Bored? Are you reading them this story or are you thinking about the story as you are speaking it? The more detail we add into our imagined scenes the more we can bring the words to life and lift them off of the page.

0:13 Mispronounced “Rennes”. Don’t be afraid to look up how to pronounce words online if you aren’t familiar with them. Some great reference sources include Cambridge Dictionary (https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/), youglish.com, forvo.com and You Tube Videos among other places (there’s a lot of options out there). You can simply type in “How to pronounce [word]” in Google search and it should give you several references. Try to avoid the robot ones though.

1:11 When you misread or have a little stumble (happens to everyone and it’s okay!), it’s highly encouraged to start again at the beginning of the sentence or paragraph or a point that would make it easy to remove and replace the mistake during editing (like a natural pause point). If you just keep going and don’t return to a solid point that makes it easy to edit out the mistake, you may need to come back later and re-record as a pick-up, and it becomes challenging to make it sound the same as the original recording. So, a good rule of thumb is to record so that it’s easy to edit later. When the mistakes are then edited out, it will sound like you read everything perfectly. 

Nice change up with the tongue twister with volume, pacing and character. This is a good thing to do to show casting directors range in auditions by having your second take completely different.

Overall, very nicely done! Keep up the good work!