There’s a bit of lazy talk throughout this read, specifically on T’s in the middle of words, for example on words such as “teetered”, “patterns”, “jotted” and “satisfied”, they all sound like D’s. (Teedered, Patterns, Satisfied”) to me, be careful on that, make sure they’re a bit more pronounced when it comes to this. 

There’s a nice story being told here. I like the differentiation and allow some word painting through this, (i.e. when you say depressed, that section sounded sad, when you talk about Peter having fun, you sound like you’re having fun yourself!) Very good work, just one thing I’d be careful about, is that there’s a bit of a throaty/vocal fry tone to it that makes it sound a little aggressive. 

Going into my favorite part of these homeworks, the lists. When you mention the animals that Peter drew, you have a great differentiation on changing up the animals themselves, but there’s a bit of repetition and consistency when it comes to the words, “He drew” for that list, the items of the list all the words of the sentence, not just the different items listed. 

The read feels a bit stilted at points, try to make it flow a bit more, there’s a nice smile peppered throughout this, but it gets a bit lost, and it causes a bit of a stilted feel when it comes to this. 

Good work, keep practicing, you got this!