Please note that your microphone has a bit of some reverb and skipping, and it takes away from your delivery as it becomes difficult to hear how your enunciation and pronunciation as it clips into your read. Also please note of your plosives. Specifically looking into some words that being with the letters P, B, and D. As that puff of air as you say those works causes to create an unnatural sound to us. 

From what I can hear the pronunciation and enunciation are good, alongside the projection, certain words like “Padderton” sounded like “Patterdon” so just gotta be careful with that. We want to avoid what is called lazy talk, which is a fancy way of saying word slurring, where some letters can sound like other letters. Each letter has a distinct sound and we have to make sure that we can tell the difference between the two. 

There are some consistencies in this read when it comes to how you’re saying the words, specifically on hte creatures, you say the names of the creatures differently, which is good, but you say the words, “He drew” very consistently, try your best to change up not just the words that are listed, but also the entire sentence itself. 

Good try, just gotta be wary of that microphone specifically, and I can’t wait to see what happens next!