The first thing I can see and hear is a more focus on projection and pronunciation. Both are improved from last week, but still could use some work. The projection, especially for a script like this, is going be much more, and the pronunciation and enunciation is good, it’s just its focus is more on pronouncing things a bit more literally, an example I heard immediately was how you say “Graham”, where it is more commonly pronounced as “Gram” where I was given “Grah-Ham” with this read. 

This read feels a little too consistent when it comes to the energy and the speed, it creates what is known as the droning effect, as the consistent sound of the read makes it become background noise. Try your best for next time to keep things conversational and that way, make it inconsistent. 

Your zombie noise was a very good contrast to the rest of your read, but that in of itself is fairly consistent. This could be played around with utilizing different sounds for this, playing with different pacing, and different tempos with this. 

Keep trying, I know you got this! Just gotta keep working at it!