Hmm... I added commentary for this but it didn't show up. I was reciting this as best I could as a documentary style ala Heritage Moment... it's a Canadian Thing™

Really nice job! It came across as more of a story-telling type of read rather than a documentary in my opinion. I could definitely picture you doing audiobooks or other long-form narration based on this read. You have a pleasant tone to listen to.

Your audio is a little bit on the quiet side - could be increased a tad bit more. Generally a good distance between the microphone and your mouth as you are recording, as a rule of thumb, is the space between your pinky and thumb when they are extended apart from each other. Try to have waveform peaks for yelling/loud projection land between -9 dB and -3 dB. For normal talking, try to have the waveform peaks between -12 and -6 dB. Shoot for -3dB of headroom. You may need to adjust your gain for louder and quieter parts; if so, it helps to know where to turn the gain to in order to achieve optimal levels during recording. Having the microphone input pointed at your mouth but offset to one side maybe 20-30 degrees can help reduce plosives (not that I heard any in your read for this script - just a general comment.)

Be sure not to lose the endings of your words - be mindful of the articulation and enunciation.

0:43 It sounded like your “r” at the beginning of “rare” became more like a “w” sound. 

1:03 Read “around” instead of “round”

1:26 Nice pause for emphasis at your concluding words.

I love the little change-up you put into the end of the tongue-twister. Nice job with playing with the words and enhancing the read on the story. Having fun with a script is an excellent start. Casting directors enjoy working with people who aren’t afraid to play with the script and bring it to life. 

Don’t forget to tell us who your audience is that you’re speaking to. What is the demographics aimed at for this piece? Consider the context of the who, what, where, when, why and how. Imagine how your audience is responding dynamically as you tell them the ideas in this script. It will affect how you deliver the read. 

Overally, nicely done! Keep up the great work!