I like your enthusiasm and then build up to the pocket pencil sharpener part. It felt more of a comedic punch since you said the words before that believably, and then said Pocket Pencil Sharpener with surprise, making it funny and land well.

Your voice has a pretty good projection here, just needs a little bit more, you’re almost there for me! Currently you’re at a 6, when I’m personally looking for a 8 when it comes to projection. We’re almost there, just gotta push it a little bit more, but this is still good for a first attempt. 

Little bit of some stutters here and there, but you were able to just reset and reapproach, albeit a rule of thumb I always try to do when it comes to just reapproaching a line is to just restart the line from the beginning, this is to allow us to reset our momentum going into the next line and can also have our lines sound a bit more naturally in the finished product. But good recovery nonetheless for your flubs, just again reset and reassess and go back in! 

I like that I can hear a bit of a smile peppered throughout when it comes to a bit of this script, But it’s a too far in between for me, try to keep it a bit more throughout the script, one thing that I can hear a little bit is you sound a bit tired as you go throughout this script, try to work on that the more you practice, which it’s like going to the gym, the only way you’ll work on vocal stamina is by doing it more and more! 

Pacing and tempo is pretty good, good change ups and good inconsistency with that, this overall has a very good conversational feel to this! Could just a little bit more change ups but this is a great start for this! 

All in all a great start to this, we have some things to work on, but that’s okay! That’s why we’re here. Keep practicing and I’ll see you around!