Really awesome read here Cauliflawa! You have a wonderful natural bounce to your voice that's great for character voices. You do a nice job taking the script in sections. When you get later on into the script you start to get into the sales pitch delivery which was good.

Something I did notice is your pace when reading. It sounds like you are speaking the script as fast or only slightly slower than your eyes are reading the words. A natural way to read aloud, but as voice actors, we are not just reading a script but performing it. Slow down how quickly you read the script. Give yourself time to read ahead, process the line, and plan how to deliver it. This gets rid of the shopping list quality to your read and lets some of your acting take the stage, letting that advertising energy take the lead. This also helps reduce the amount of mistakes made during recording. You didn't make very many, but hitting an awkward pause, messing up a pronunciation, and saying the wrong word is going to happen a lot more when we speak as fast as we read. You did great in the beginning of the read of stopping and going back to correct the mistakes, but you fell off correcting them through the back end of the script. Remember that the end of a script is just as important as the beginning, and though mistakes can feel embarrassing at first, shaking it off and restarting is always the right move. Leaving a mistake in the read now just means you have to go back and re-record a line later on, much better to catch it now before it's a problem.

In terms of projection you were a good 4/10 with some parts trying to creep into the 5/10 range. I'd love to see you get up to a 7/10 for a script like this! We want to envision delivering this read to a full packed gym of people. We want your voice to carry all the way to the back row of bleachers, loud and clear for each and every person. That means taking large big breaths, filling up your chest and abdominal cavity with air, and supporting every delivery with strong solid columns of air! Projecting that much air comes with practice, and dynamics is in my opinions one of the greatest differences between beginner and intermediate actors. Showing range and contrast does so much work in voice over and it is really important to broaden your range. So fill up your lungs and let's hear some projecting!

Great work here cauliflawa, looking forward to hearing more! A side note, don't sweat using capcut for now, we all have our starts somewhere. If your ever looking to upgrading your set up, don't forget to ask your peers what they use! I started with the Blue Snowball and I know a lot of people who went with the Blue Yeti instead. We the TA's and your peers are a great resource to use when you're looking to upgrade gear and equipment!