*Introduce yourself and tell me one aspect you hate about society*

(Dry) We’re nothing but insignificant specks adrift in the vast, indifferent cosmos. Waiting for the cycle of torment to end, only for it to begin again. We pray for the end, then beg for a second death. We exist just to suffer. (Awkward pause) (Embarrassed) Here’s your Shirley Temple.

(Dry) Hi Fifi, honey. We’ve got a cucumber gin fizz special tonight. Tastes like existential dread with a side of mild regret. Or would you prefer your usual turmeric sour? That familiar disappointment, just like how your parents feel about you. (Awkward pause) That was uncalled for. This one is on me.