You did really well! I heard you stop to take a breath or clear your throat a few times. It's okay to take more frequent breaths in between! Drink lots of water and maybe tea for the throat.

"Some restrictions may apply" and "No purchase necessary" stood out to me. The text is very much written to make words run together and make you work to differentiate similar, technical phrases. So just being able to get some of the phrases to pop is good is work!

Great clarity in your read here!

0:41 no entrée not entry

0:44 When making a mistake midread, stop the read and start from a break in the script. More on this later

0:49 same as above.

0:58 added an “f” sound to “last”

1:15 I like the way you differentiated between the repeated “come on in” lines. A great choice.

1:18 same as 0:41 remark

1:32 Slow down some. The read comes off here as feeling rushed when your pace increased around this time.

2:07 Wonderfully done, this is exactly the example of what you should do each time you flub a line. Stop, breathe, take it again from a space that makes sense. A lot of the time that space you go back to is the beginning of a sentence, but, in some long winded lines, picking a comma that has a heavy pause works fine as well. For example the comma breaks in my last sentence would work great as pick up spots in case you made a mistake reading it. 

A wonderful read Mackenzie! Strong and articulate, in terms of projection, I would give you a solid 6/10. Were you to be speaking to a whole gym full of people, I think I’d want you a level or two louder to reach to the back of the bleachers. Just take in more air, and take more breath breaks to push that script out louder! Fill out that stomach cavity! On the whole you did well with volume, there were some lines where you were beginning to falter near the end of a sentence. If you find yourself losing breath support through a sentence, find a break in the sentence and just breathe. Breath breaks can be edited out in post but a read that loses projection over the course of a take can lead to whole sections of script that need to be re-recorded. 

Taking enough time to breathe goes hand in hand in controlling your pacing as well. When you run out of breath, there’s a rush to get to the end of the line before all the air is gone. Taking time to breath allows your pace to remain steady and consistent. Great work Mackenzie! Looking forward to more from ya.