Is marrying off your leads really the death knell everyone claims?! Why are they upside down again? Have the writers run out of ideas?! And what are these crocodiles a metaphor for, anyway? Sins of the past?! A doomed future?! Sexual frustration?! Or maybe they are just crocodiles?!

Pfft. noir! How dull! Well, it will have to do! Maybe we'll dress it up a bit! Perhaps I'll even throw in a clown just to keep them on their toes!

I want the ratings that only that hot hot heat can bring! I need a famous X-Couple, and these two are the only damn X-Couple that's currently alive and together and popular! In a recent social media poll Gambit and Rogue ranked numbers six and eight! Six and eight! Those are excellent numbers! I can work with those numbers. This is my X-Couple, Spiral! So get on board or I'll exile you again...