In regards to critique, I felt there was more stress on copying an announcer role and the clarity/enunciation of words and numbers rather than appealing to the factor of talking TO someone rather than AT -- which this submission feels like. I also feel like the submission itself gets away from the point of what is trying to be said here, as some odd inflections and undertones are stressed on weird points of the announcement that make it seem the VA doesn't register what they're even saying.

This IS a hard one, on purpose. But your self critique is very aware. The challenge is to prepare for that type of persoanl delivery while also doing a piece that is quite salesy. It's a tough corner to turn, but the idea is that what you'd do if they were right there in front of you IRL, is enough to do on the spot as well. Definitely hard, but once you can start feeling grounded and personal in the performance, you'll find your takes engrossing.