Oh Oscar, I love it man. I can hear the power in this read and the effort your pushing into it. Let's hone a little bit of that effort.

First things first lets pump the brakes a little bit. Right around the middle of the read and into the final paragraph you hit a very nice pace for yourself. Measured, energetic, but still enough space to allow your read and performance to shine. You start at a blitzing pace and your articulation and pronunciation took a hit for it. Your words squished up next to each other without much room to be heard separately, and more importantly, your breathes were running into your read. That is, you would start to breath and go right into the script again. A very natural way of speaking, especially in a way that conveys energy or excitement but in voice over those breathes are much harder to clean out and can impact your articulation quite a bit making it harder to understand the word that got breathed over.

Now going to your projection, I can hear how you wanna get loud, where you start to really push out some air! Give me more! Give me that big "Come on in!" energy through the whole read! Bombastic and strong, reaching to the far ends of the room and demanding your audiences attention. You're right there and I wanna draw that full strength from you and really expand out your dynamic range.

There's a great passion expressed through the read that I adore. Real genuine fun and joy in your natural speaking voice that is lovely to hear. Awesome start and I am looking forward to hearing more!