You did a good job with the read, and I can tell you’re on the right track. However, one thing to keep in mind is that you're supposed to be in a gym full of people without a microphone, so projection is key. To really sell the scene, you need to project from your diaphragm, ensuring that your voice can carry to the back of the room. This will give your performance more power and presence, and it will help you reach everyone in the audience clearly.

Additionally, I noticed your pacing was a bit fast. Slowing down will allow you to give each word and phrase more time to breathe, making sure nothing gets lost in the speed. Your articulation and enunciation are good, but when you rush, some of the words become harder to catch. Take your time with the script, focusing on the emotions behind it. When you’re selling something, think about what genuinely excites you in your own life, something that makes you feel passionate, and channel that energy into your read. That excitement will come through and make your performance more engaging for the listener.

Overall, you’re doing a solid job, but with more focus on projection, slowing your pace, and bringing out that excitement in your voice, you’ll take your performance to the next level. Keep up the great work, and I’m excited to see your progress!