Really nicely done! I could picture you in commercial voiceover work and/or doing announcer spots.

0:03 Added an “s” on the end of “style”

0:04 Read “saving” instead of “savings” - be aware of changing words and dropping or adding “s”

0:11 Added word “with”

0:14 Read “guaranteed” instead of “guarantee” and added word “and”

0:18  Read “altercation” instead of “alterations”

0:27 Read “entrée” as “entry” 

0:29 “Charges” felt a little rushed/cut off - be sure to fully pronounce the words

0:31 “No one will” felt kind of run together and a little hard to understand. Slowing down a tad will help to fully pronounce the words and be sure they are clearly understood.

0:35 When you misread or have a little stumble (happens to everyone and it’s okay!), it’s highly encouraged to start again at the beginning of the sentence or paragraph or a point that would make it easy to remove and replace the mistake during editing. If you just keep going and don’t return to a solid point that makes it easy to edit out the mistake, you may need to come back later and re-record as a pick-up, and it becomes challenging to make it sound the same as the original recording. So, a good rule of thumb is to record so that it’s easy to edit later. When the mistakes are then edited out, it will sound like you read everything perfectly.

0:53 Added word “is”

0:59 For repeated words, look for ways to say the words differently - “change-up” to keep it interesting - varying pace, pitch, etc. in the way you read the words. I did hear some variation, but there is room to explore variations even a little further to make it even more lively.

1:05 “Sales Representatives” was a little slurred and run together - it’s okay to slow down to be sure you clearly pronounce the words fully

1:46 Read “purchase” instead of “purchases” 

Your gain/volume could be turned down just a tad. I do hear some distortion in places where you may have clipped or where it may have been normalized past 0 dB. It’s always good to leave headroom on your wave peaks. Shoot for -3dB of headroom. 

There were several places where words were not fully enunciated or clearly pronounced, so I encourage you to work on that as you continue to progress. Slowing down the pace a little can help a lot with that so we’re not tripping over our words in a rush to get through the script. 

Also, I noticed that you adapted the script and added words to help it feel more smooth in your read. This is something that may be good in some instances, but in others, you will want to follow the script exactly. Especially in commercial work - they may have run the script through a legal department to say EXACTLY what they want said and nothing else to be added. Following the script to the letter is a very important skill in voice acting. In an audition, if you go off script to improve it in one take, be sure to have a second take with exactly what’s written. Some writers will also take offense if the script is changed by a voice actor, so that is a potential risk as well. Adding humanisms to a script (like sighs, laughs, hmms, etc.) that aren’t necessarily words are often what is recommended to enhance a script versus changing the wording. Be sure to quality check your work after recording to ensure you correctly performed the script. It is very important to many casting directors to have voice actors accurately read the written copy (script).

Overall, great job! I felt you did well with projection. Good use of variations throughout the read to keep it interesting. Keep up the good work!