[Two-Player Game]Find the bad guy, push him aside.Then move on forward with your friend at your side.It's a two player game so when you make an attackYou know you got a brother, gonna have your back.Then you stay on track and--Ah! Remain on course.And if they give you a smack, you--Gah! You use your force!And if you leave your brother behind, it's lameCos it's an effed-up world but it's a two player game!Hey!
Dude you are cooler than a vintage cassette,It's just that no one else but me thinks that yet.You're just a nothing in this high school scheme,But it's no big, cos you and I are a team.
We like out of print games,Retro Skates,Got a Pac-Man tattoo,Nobody here appreciates,But soon we'll be together where they do.
'Cause guys like us are cool in college,Cool in college, this I know.Guys like us are cool in college,We rule in college, listen bro.High school is hell, but we navigate it well.'Cause what we do is we make it a two player game.

[Michael in the Bathroom]And I can't help but yearnFor a different timeAnd then I look in the mirrorAnd the present is clearerAnd there's no denying I'm just-
At a party,Is there a sadder sight than*hums*Michael in the bathroom at a party.This is a heinous night.I wish I stayed at home in bed watching cable porn,Or wish I offed myself instead,Wish I was never born!I'm just Michael who's a loner,So he must be a stoner,Rides a PT Cruiser,God he's such a loser,Michael flyin' solo,Who you think that you know,Michael in the bathroom by himself.Oh, by himself.Oh, by himself.All you know about me is my name.Awesome party, I'm so glad I came.

[The Play]Michael makes an entrance!
I was just in the audience thinking, "This is pretty good for a school play." Then I was like..."This is way too good for a school play!"