Let me guess. You're here to mock the worst detective in the whole blasted Commonwealth. You think I don't know that my closure rate sucks? Look at all those files. I got missing wives, missing kids, missing dogs, missing molerats, if you can believe it. I've got every paranoid lunatic and his mother thinking that their loved ones have been replaced by synths. ...And if I hear one more time how "another settlement needs my help", I'm gonna lose it. So you can just take your ass out the way it came in... And tell Thornton to keep those drunken assholes from wandering in here... pissing on the floor.

Welcome to my humble abode. My name is Ike. This little s***hole is Missing Persons Commonwealth branch.

So anyway, Missing Persons was founded back out west by some people with less than noble intentions. This was all before I joined up, mind you. Your friend here was there, so he can fill you in on the details.