Your audio is very muffled and quiet. What microphone are you using? Microphones that use the cardioid pattern will reject noise from the back side. It sounds like you may be speaking into the back of your microphone. Often the logo is on the front of the microphone and it should be pointed toward your mouth. You can verify with your particular microphone where the input diaphragm is located. 

Another thing to verify is that your recording DAW (digital audio workstation - such as Reaper, Audition, etc.) or audio editor (like Audacity) is picking up the correct input microphone. Sometimes it likes to revert to the laptop or computer microphone or another source instead of the professional microphone, so it’s good to double check your settings there. 

Generally a good distance as a rule of thumb is the space between your pinky and thumb when they are extended apart from each other.

Feel free to DM me or Manuel Fluency (another engineering VO Companion) if you’d like some additional help in dialing in your audio quality.

Excellent backstory/scene you have envisioned. 

Good read. To take it to the next level, however, think about how you feel as one of the last remaining survivors of war. Are you broken? Defeated? Lonely? Sad? Frustrated? Angry? Add emotion into your read. Let the listeners feel what you are feeling through emotions and opinion. Imagine how these other races would react to what you are saying and allow the thought of their reactions affect your read. Are they convinced that they should heed your warning? The read felt very nonchalant and informational instead of heartfelt and real. Make use of humanisms like sighs or other grunts, coughs, catching your breath-gasps, etc to bring it to life even more. Give it moments - are you holding back tears? Punching a wall? 

You’re on the right track, however it still feels like a read rather than someone speaking the words genuinely or convincingly. This is a challenging skill to acquire, but the more you practice the easier it will become. Picture the scene you’ve created and how the person or persons you are talking to are reacting. Make it real in your mind’s eye, and let yourself genuinely respond to the situation. This will help lift the words off the page. Make use of change-ups in emotion, inflection, pacing, volume, pitch, etc. Keep it interesting to listen to. Look for ways to keep it realistic in a setting like this. Have an opinion about what you read.

Keep up the good work.