Nice read. I could tell you really put heart and feeling into your delivery. 

0:16 “each month” was a little mumbled - be sure to speak the words fully and clearly so they can be easily understood

0:26 I hear “gredients” instead of “ingredients”

0:32 mispronounced “carotenoid”

0:42, 1:38 When you misread, stumble a little, or hit an odd pace or breath (happens to everyone and it’s okay!), it’s highly encouraged to start again at the beginning of the sentence or paragraph or a point that would make it easy to remove and replace the mistake during editing. If you just keep going and don’t return to a solid point that makes it easy to edit out the mistake, you may need to come back later and re-record, and it becomes challenging to make it sound the same as the original recording. So, a good rule of thumb is to record so that it’s easy to edit later.

0:56 Be aware of any background movement during recording which will be picked up in the audio recording. If movement occurs while you are speaking, I suggest reading that line again after the movement occurs so that you have access to a clean recording to compile during editing for actual gigs and auditions. It’s difficult to remove background sounds during editing.

1:08 read “she did this all” instead of “she did all this”

As voice actors, we need to have the ability to clearly speak all of the written words so that they are understood. I encourage you to continue practicing your articulation and enunciation to further sharpen your skills. When practicing these qualities, it’s okay to go overboard and really hit all of the letters. Make sure you don’t lose the ends of words too when practicing these qualities as well. In natural speaking, the ends tend to fall off or not be hit hard, but exercising and strengthening the quality to fully pronounce words is an excellent tool to have in your voice acting tool box. You can try over-enunciating and over-articulating like Burger showed in Class 2 with the cork trick. Keep practicing and it will get easier. :)

The tongue twisters will also help so keep having fun playing around with those as well. Vocal warmups help loosen the tongue and vocal cords and will make it easier to pronounce the words. 

To take this script to the next level, now that you’ve identified the person you are talking to is a friend, think about how you can take the script and speak it from your heart genuinely and authentically while you tell your friend about Mrs. Mary Nillimore. Being able to deliver a performance that doesn’t sound like you are reading a script is the ultimate goal with voice acting. 

Overall, really nicely done. Keep up the great work!