You have a voice that sounds perfect for commerials -- those first few lines were on point. I don't know if you were necessarily projecting your voice quite hard enough, but this was a great effort!

Awesome job! For the most part, you harnessed the "radio commercial" tone. You punched it a little hard a couple of times, but overall, you had the right feel.

You definitely gave off that commercial voice, reminding me of old time commercials which is cool! I like the energy you were giving and the dynamics in your tone to make it sound more natural. Towards the end I could hear you really getting into it and having fun which is great, but of course you still wanted to project! There wasn't a lot of projection going on here so make sure you are taking really big breaths and engaging your diaphragm to push that voice out. You wanna feel it in your chest and stomach. You want your voice to be heard in a gym without using a microphone, so try to imagine and even listen back to yourself and see just how loud you are. A good trick you can do is to place your phone on the other side of a room while recording and stand at the other end and read the script and see how much your phone picks up on your projection! I could hear some flubs here and there which are totally fine, but most were because you went faster in your pacing so slowing down a little there can help avoid those and avoid the jumbling and mumbling of words. Some of your words lost a bit of articulation so you wanna make sure you're speaking clearly. The more you practice things like cold reads, auditioning, etc the easier it'll get. Start off slow and then work your way faster and rehearsing the script can help as well to allow your mind to process the words faster since you'll be familiar with them and what's coming next. Great work!